The premise of a new Fantastic Four after having 3 relatively unsuccessful versions, at least in the eyes of fans, was met with a bit of trepidation and skepticism. Ablaze went the various comment sections for the various set photos, casting, and accompanying stories of production, while rumors about the directors habits and sobriety on the set ran wild. So was this worthy of being added to the annals of great super hero movies?
I’ll say this.. If this was the 90 minute pilot for the Fantastic Four TV show.. I’d say not bad because you’d expect another 22 episodes to properly tell the story, and you’d be able to excuse some of the horrible acting and dialogue.
What you have here, however is a tentpole summer movie that gives its best moves at the beginning. I’m not talking about fancy CG or impressive set pieces, I’m talking about good ol’ fashioned story telling. It evokes that feeling of watching Space Camp for the first time, and for just a brief and fleeting moment you get a sense of awe, that quickly dwindles before you finish the thought.
From there you’re spoon fed, through insipid dialogue, the events that are clearly displayed on the screen.. If you can see portions of earth getting sucked in by a powerful beam.. someone says.. “The earth is being sucked in by that beam”.. It’s groan worthy. They talk about wonky science that usually ends with you asking yourself, “What does that mean?!”
One of the largest nails in the coffin of Fantastic Four is the glossing over of what would have been the most important part of character development. They get their powers, and literally you are served with a “1 Year Later” subtitle and then poof.. they all know how to use their powers.. Which I guess makes sense seeing as you’d have a year to get it together. It’s just bad cinema period. As for the CG you’d expect to see some amazing set pieces as they’ve become synonymous with a summer big show like this. Alas, it’s all horrible and looks dated by at least 10 years, or again.. a TV show.
Now on to Doom. Doom Doom Doom.. Ughh.. FOX!! Or whoever is in charge of making Dr. Doom in all his iterations, what is so hard about making Doom a proper villain as he deserves to be? Have you read any of the comics? Have you seen a cartoon? Played any of the games? I mean holy crap, even if you didn’t get Doom correct, the villain story and motivation used is non-existent and downgraded to the cliched point of someone hellbent on destroying the planet for no apparent reason. Also just of the heck of it.. they made him look like utter dog crap.. Why not..
During your viewing, if you still choose to, you can say to yourself, the first 2/3 of the movie isn’t that bad, and not deserving of such a thrashing. They’ve got great actors, they’ve got good writers, a promising director, and the backing of the X-men franchise big ballers. Should have been a no brainer, however, the third act renders any positive achievement null and void. I mean it feels like going to Bennihanas, watching them prepare a meal for you in front of your eyes while smelling all the good ingredients simmering on the hot plate. They prepare 2/3 of the meal and present it to you.. You’re hungry, and can’t wait for that final ingredient.. And then it turns out that they just top it with sewage. Doesn’t matter how good the first parts are.. the whole thing is simply ruined. Honestly the best way for me to describe this movie in a few short words would be the following.
Written, Directed, and Produced by: M. Night Shamalan.
You can skip this one completely. There is no reason to support anything like this as it may be taken as a form of support and encouragement to make more movies of this quality. Sadly this movie was so bad that it made me change my review format just for this film. I’m almost certain there is going to be a documentary made detailing the nightmare behind the scenes and properly explain to us all just why this was such a train wreck.
Thanks for reading this Fantastic Four review and remember.. stay dorky my friends!
Fantastic Four opens wide in North America Friday, August 7th 2015 and stars Miles Teller, Jamie Bell, Kate Mara, Michael B. Jordan,